Proof that your relationship was a sham usually only becomes completely apparent once it breaks down. Most normal people can move on, accept that things have run its course and wish each other all the best for the future.
It seems however that the possessive other half that is the U.K. are already panicking to the extent that they won’t allow us to consider moving on, they fully intend to love bomb us with allowing us to hold the TV remote between 6 and 8pm each week night. All be it, they will still decide which programs we have to watch. The BBC News with its daily dose of Scotland bad and isn’t it an injustice that someone has to stop doing something to prevent innocent strangers being killed of COVID19 is we are told compulsory viewing.
It’s all getting very tiresome and the fact that we have spent our adult lives not being able to speak in public as only the fat bloater has the authority to do that. Our opinion doesn’t matter, in the company of our neighbours they always found our other half a bit controlling, aggressive, egotistical and more than a little bit obsessed with security and control. It didn’t matter to them if their partners agreed with them, they still let them have their say. Just look at Belgium, they never stopped Flanders having a full say over what went on in the neighbourhood.
So is it any surprise that after many years together, we find ourselves looking over at the fat snoring bastard in our bed. The middle aged bloater who can’t change position without farting and to be honest, it’s still the most peace we get from them. With every wheezing breath they take, the fact that they squandered our family inheritance takes every ounce is strength not to take a pillow and out them out our misery. The inheritance was put into their bank account as we weren’t allowed to have one in case we might have done something nice with it. Still when they are awake they are everything we have come to hate. Controlling, intolerant, xenophobic, racist and fixated with punishing those who disagree with them. On occasions they have even physically lashed out at those who they feel have slighted them by not backing down.
But things have really came to a head this morning. It came to light that they have been talking to the neighbours and asking them to make it clear that if we leave the bloater, they will not consider us their friends anymore and they would cut off all contact. Seemingly their reaction to this request was actually of complete shock, not that this sort of request was beneath the fat fucker, but rather after the the way they have been treated they wouldn’t piss in them if they were on fire.
There is nothing they can do now that can surprise us, there is no level to which they will stoop and our only choice is to leave and don’t turn back. They aren’t happy with us not being willing to let them having complete control over us. The old adage it’s not us, it’s them could never be more true.
So without further delay we must pack our bags, file a restraining order and get that nasty controlling bloater out our lives forever!
Noises Fae The Heid 