Alas, Poor Davey, I Kent Ye Weer No Well

Well the UK Government hit peak pathos last night as Theresa May hosted a “Burns” dinner at No. 10.  As to be expected the event was attended by most of the Tory MP’s and business supporters of Better Together. The PM described that Burns Night is part of the UK’s endearing union in an statement so thick with pathos that it would make a non newtonian fluid look like a pyroclastic flow.

However once we get our spines to stop spasming with cringe, induced by the thought of Burns’ poetry being recited by people with Morningside accents for the sole purpose of keeping a faint connection with Scotland, other than its resources and identity for the sake of profit.

The other side of this coin with be an attempt by the Tory Party in Scotland to reciprocate, in the spirit of entente cordial Scotland’s should celebrate the Birthday of England’s National Bard, William Shakespeare! It will be with utter joy that we should spend the day in tights with a marrow stuffed down the crotch and a homemade ruff around our necks, reciting lines inspired by his most famous work “Alas, poor Davey, I kent ye weer no well”, as we hold the skull of a dearly departed disabled friend who was dragged out his motability car and found fit for work on a North Sea Oil Rig while in the latter days of stage 4 cancer!


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