The Prick Friend and the “Vow Of Fun”

It is time to understand the relationship between the UK State and Scotland. When you think of it the UK state is really nothing more than that really annoying friend who has to have a say in everything you do and who you are trying to be. We all know the type, the ones that when you are booking a guys or girls holiday, they just have to have the biggest say in where everyone goes, the holiday destination, the hotels, the activities everything. Infact they make a “Vow ” that it will be fun! They are the pricks that have to have it all their own way and everyone has to be enthusiastic because, they know best. Like it or not, everyone is persuaded and they handover their hard earned cash and the prick goes off to book the holiday and activities. Everyone knows that it is best to book all your activities before you go, although the travel agent makes some profit, you have a guarantee from the sales person and your prick friend that it will be good!
It ‘s only the night before when everyone is packed and you are having a few pre holiday drinks in the pub that your friend says that they can’t go because the dates ended up not quite right for them. Everyone is dumbfounded but committed to the holiday and it can’t be that bad or Mega World Life Experience Travel would not be selling the holidays. It is only when you reach your destination that you find out the hotel is shite, the food and drink are overpriced, there are not enough rooms and everyone has to double up. The two weeks you booked are actually is the wrong season and you are guaranteed to have two tropical storms hit within the next fortnight. Which is actually a bit of a shame because you are all signed up for the jungle camping trip, which consists of two days and nights in a tent on the forest floor. When it rains, every creepy crawly scurries out of the holes in the ground they live in and into your sleeping bag!
It’s at this point is suddenly dawns, you don’t need people like that in your life. You all can get along perfectly fine without the prick. Everyone else can agree where to go on holiday and two weeks in the sun lying on the beach during the day and going to pubs and clubs at night in Tenerife is really what you all wanted to do!
As highlighted this week, the UK State and the Tories are the prick in our lives. Last year we were planning to go our own way and they popped up at the last minute with the “Vow” of fun! A few bought into the “we are all good friends and it will be a blast” speech and went with it. But only this week we have realised that the “Vow of fun” was a load of shite and our prick friend had no intention of coming on holiday with us! In fact even if they had they would not have taking part in the camping trip because they have hay fever. The Smith “Holiday” Commission had stipulated the min amount of activities that the holiday should include but prick friend ignored it and you got what they thought you should have and paid for the privilege!
Here we are after the Holiday of disappointment and still rubbing antihistamine cream on to the myriad of insect bites from the forest camping trip and realising that it’s time to ditch the prick friend. Sure we might still see them at a social gathering at the EU or the UN and possibly buy them a beer, but we sure as fuck are not going to give them the power to book our holidays again or have any influence over us!

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